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Josh parked his car in front of the driveway. He held onto the steering well, wondering if this had been a good idea. His hands felt clammy against the leather and his stomach churned unpleasantly.
“Fuck,” he whispered, closing his eyes.
He was about to consider this the worst day in his life. First Jay had come to him begging for a night alone and then he’d had to go and cancel. He would never forget the other man’s grimace of pain and disgust. Josh had tried to explain that he was standing him up because he was trying to find a solution to your problem. Jay hadn’t want to hear it and had stormed off.
And now, here he was. Sitting in his car, five minutes to eight, wondering if he’d done the right thing in calling Anthony. They hadn’t spoken or seen each other for eight months. Josh worried his bottom lip. He had walked away from the relationship because Anthony was too intense. He wanted things Josh had felt at that moment that he couldn’t give him. Josh wasn’t sure what his reaction to seeing him would be. Was he truly over Anthony? Could he walk into that house with a straight face and ask the other man for help as if nothing had transpired between them? As if he hadn’t broken Anthony’s heart?
“Fuck,” he swore again.
They had been talking about living together when Josh had fled. He hadn’t given them a chance and now he was about to step into that house again. To go in and see and touch places where a lot had happened. He absently wondered if Anthony still kept the old leather chair. God, how he both hated and loved that thing. It was so out of place in the tiny living room, and yet, it fit so right. Josh sighed. He glanced at the clock. 8:01 pm. Anthony hated tardiness and there was no point in delaying the inevitable. If he was going to get help, he’d have to suck it up and go inside.
Stepping out of his car, he locked it and briskly made his way to the front door. The exterior of the house hadn’t changed, although it looked as if Anthony had finally gotten round to re-painting it. Josh swallowed and rang the bell. He shifted his weight while he waited. He knew Anthony was in there. The house was only one-story and light filtered through some of the windows. If he had to bet on it, Anthony had probably been aware of the exact moment he arrived and parked his vehicle.
The door began to open and he shoved his hands in his pockets to hide their trembling. His breath caught in his throat as his gaze finally landed on Anthony. Had he always been so tall? So imposing? Josh couldn’t help looking him over. He was dressed in dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt and a red-checked shirt. His beard was fuller than he remembered, his lips plumper. His black hair was longer, almost to his shoulders. His brown eyes shone mischievously and he gave Josh the lopsided smile that spelt nothing but trouble.
“Come in, Pretty boy, don’t just stand there. Did you miss me much?” Anthony said.
TO be continued...