Sunday, March 30, 2014

#8Sunday #SexySnippets #WeekendWritingWarriors: Jace II

Happy Sunday, darlings!

My creativity has been bouncing around indecisively for the past few days, but I managed to write a little more on Jace's story. Today, I'm continuing with Jace as he goes into town. 

 This is totally unedited, still untitled and still in its baby stages. Hope you like it, and as always, thank you for taking the time to stop by, share and leave a comment. *hugs*

Elyzabeth

*creative editing to keep to the guidelines has most definitely taken place*
#SexySnippets and #8Sunday Sentences  
  
Jace slowed down his bike as he reached the edge of town. It was barred by a thick fence. The hairs on the back of his neck stood. He stopped his bike and waited for someone to come out of the guard box. After some time, he ventured through. More forest land surrounded the area but as he moved closer into town an unpleasant smell seemed to permeate the air. Jace wrinkled his nose and picked up the speed eager to find some form of civilization in these desolate lands
lands.

"Oh, Beatrice, where the hell are you?"
 



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20 comments:

  1. Xandra JamesMarch 30, 2014 at 6:13 AM

    Ooh, just where is she?! Hmm, has me curious ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elyzabeth M. VaLeyMarch 31, 2014 at 6:08 AM

      Not in a good place... Thanks for reading, Xandra :)

      Delete
  2. AnonymousMarch 30, 2014 at 6:48 AM

    I'm with Xandra. What is going on? :-)

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  3. Frank FisherMarch 30, 2014 at 10:50 AM

    Tense scene. I really got a sense of Jace's fear. Hope he finds Beatrice soon.

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  4. Veronica ScottMarch 30, 2014 at 1:48 PM

    Spooky, ominous, he's brave to keep going! Enjoyed the excerpt but of course now I want more :-)

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    Replies
    1. Elyzabeth M. VaLeyMarch 31, 2014 at 6:09 AM

      Thanks Veronica! He has to be brave for his sister :)

      Delete
  5. UnknownMarch 30, 2014 at 3:29 PM

    This snippet raises all sorts of question! Mysterious and compelling!

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  6. Charmaine GordonMarch 30, 2014 at 4:33 PM

    You mention a guard. We should see a brief exchange. It's like Chekhov saying if you show a gun, better do something with it. Small comment. Otherwise you paint an ominous scenario and yet he moves on looking for her. Terrific eight!

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    Replies
    1. Elyzabeth M. VaLeyMarch 31, 2014 at 6:10 AM

      Thank you, Charmaine! And thanks for the suggestion about the guard. The guard is not really there, though, only the empty box.

      Delete
  7. Sandra NachlingerMarch 30, 2014 at 5:43 PM

    You're off to a good start! I'm curious about that smell and wondering what's up with Beatrice.

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  8. UnknownMarch 30, 2014 at 9:17 PM

    Curiouser and curiouser...why isn't there a guard on duty? What is the smell? Where is Beatrice?

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    Replies
    1. Elyzabeth M. VaLeyMarch 31, 2014 at 6:11 AM

      Thanks for reading and commenting Millie! All those questions will be answered...eventually...

      Delete
  9. AnonymousMarch 31, 2014 at 3:51 AM

    I'd like to see more of this, find out why he is searching in such a hostile place for Beatrice. Nice name. I enjoyed this.

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  10. Teresa CypherMarch 31, 2014 at 10:02 PM

    Very visual. And what is that smell??? :-) I love the last line. It could be the very first line of the book--you could launch an entire story with a line like that. Well done! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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