Happy Sunday, lovelies!
Today I'm continuing with Luna's story.
Thanks to the lovely Veronica Scott it has come to my attention that the name Riddick is already in use by a popular sci-fi character played by Vin Diesel. My Riddick looks nothing like Diesel. (You can have a look at my inspiration here. It's pretty yummy *grin*). However, to not confuse the characters I'm considering changing my Feardrako's name. Of course, any suggestions will be much appreciated. *smile*
On to today's snippet:
Let's recap: Clare (aka Luna), has met a mysterious, yet hunky, alien who's come to take her back to his home. She believes he's Mikelo, the alien boy she'd met twenty years ago... but he's presented himself as Riddick. His last line was:
I am Riddick and I have come for you, Clare Luna for it is high time you paid your promise."
Creative
editing has taken place to keep to the guidelines (and I have not considered one word lines as sentences in today's snippet *blush*).
You can read the older snippets here:
XOXO,
Elyzabeth
Elyzabeth
*creative editing to keep to the guidelines has taken place*
#SexySnippets and #8Sunday Sentences
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I don't know what you're talking about."
His eyebrows shot up again and she noticed that his eyes
were not dark like Mikelo’s
but a deep blue.
"I-I-“
“Yes?"
He took a step toward her and she scampered backwards, tripping and crashing into a tree, her breath leaving her lungs in a loud whoosh.
Riddick didn’t
stop moving. He crowded her against the space, placing his arms to each side of
her head, and leaning over her intimidatingly.
"Why aren't you screaming, Clare? Crying? Begging for your
life?" His voice dropped to a whisper making the hairs on her arms stand.
"I-I'm trying."
Riddick’s
eyes twinkled. This close she was able to see the lines of laughter around his
eyes and the amusement dancing in their depths. He was mocking her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Your thoughts?
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I like it, BUT It would be difficult for her to fight back-or would it. Is she strong enough to question him and stand up tall? It's your story and you know where you're going. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing about the name "Riddick." It conjures up the vision of the guy with silver eyes who's an anti-hero. You could name him "Serrik" or something equally as strong without losing the flavor of the story. Great snippet, Elyzabeth. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry, what? Did you ask me something. I'm still staring at your inspiration and imagining meeting him in the woods.... Oh my! lol.
ReplyDeleteLove Siobhan's suggestion of Serrik!
Wow, that picture of your inspiration is something else indeed! (Fans self) Glad you didn't mind me bringing up the Riddick issue last week - I like Serrik for a possible name. Enjoyed today's excerpt, I think your heroine is holding up pretty well, all things about her situation considered!
ReplyDeleteExcellent snippet. Lots of great details, Elyzabeth. I must admit that I got the Vin Deisel image when I tread the snippet, too. Which isn't necessarily bad lol.
ReplyDeleteNow I have to put on my moderator's hat and make mention of the over sentence limit. Just to keep it fair, because we do comment on all posts we find over the limit. We do see you posting week in, week out without going over, and know this was an exception. :-)