Hi Guys!
It's been a busy few months and the last one has been emotionally loaded. These 624 words are the first words I've written in month. There is no romance in these words. They are full of bitterness and sadness... but sometimes, that's just what life is. The prompt is in bold.
Enjoy! I hope to continue participating more actively in this wonderful group!
Selfish
“You
just don’t understand, do you?”
“What
are you talking about?” He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head.
She
fought the urge to roll her eyes by narrowing them instead.
“I
told you already. It’s over between us. I’ve had enough of this thing going on
between us. You don’t want to label it as a relationship but it feels like one.”
“What?
What are you talking about, Natalie?” He dropped his arms to his side, palms
out. “I thought we were having fun. We talked about this when we started
fooling around, a relationship between us is impossible.”
“And
yet, we not only have sex, Max. We hang out together. I sleep at your house
every other day. We go shopping together. We go to parties together.”
“Yes,
but-“
She
lifted her hand and he shut up. “All those little things mean something to me.
I’ve tried to fight it off, but it’s impossible. I’m hurting and you’re too
selfish to notice or to care.”
He
made to grab her hand but she took a step back. He stuck his hands in his
pocket and chewed on his lips for a moment before speaking. “Yes, I am selfish,
but I thought this was working between us. I asked you repeatedly if you were
ok and you always said yes.”
Natalie
dropped her gaze. She sighed. “I didn’t lie to you if that’s what you’re
implying. When I said I was okay I thought I was. Until that other night when
you showed up with her. You acted wrong and you knew it. You told me so
yourself. I shouldn’t have accepted your apologies then but I did.”
“Yes,
that night was a mistake,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have brought her
along.”
“It
doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It
does,” he countered.
She
shook her head, her hair fanning her face and hiding the tiredness she felt
deep in her bones and saw every morning when she looked in the mirror for the
past few weeks. He didn’t see it. He never did.
“It
does matter because I hurt you.” He grabbed her arm, forcing her to look back
up at him. ”I didn’t want to hurt you. It was never my intention.”
“And
yet, you knew I was hurting and you continued this relationship with me. You
told me yourself the other night, about how you thought about breaking off this
pseudo relationship because it wasn’t going anywhere positive and you thought
you could be hurting me. Yet, you didn’t want to let me go. You continued with
this façade in which you got everything you wanted.”
He
smiled ruefully. “You know I’m selfish. I didn’t, I don’t want to let you go.
You mean a lot to me.”
“You.
The only one you ever think about is
you, you, you. You want me to be at your side, listening to you, taking
care of your needs, and no, I don’t only mean sexually, I mean emotional needs.
I’ve been the one at your side for all these months, listening to your
problems, helping you out, being there for you when no one else was. You wanted
my support and my body, but you also wanted all the other women around you. You’ve
never cared for my feelings. You’ve never cared for my problems. You’ve never
had any interest in what I like and dislike. I’ve had enough with your selfishness.
It’s time I take care of myself. It’s time for me to be selfish and stop feeling
guilty for being unable to help you and give you what you want. ” She pulled her arm away from his
grasp. His eyes widened. “I’ve had enough, Max. This is over.”
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