More than music
Dylan let his head fall back against the couch. He sighed and closed his eyes. Home at last. He was relieved. He had been able to flee the crowd unscathed this time. Absently he ran his fingers through his hair. During his last show, one of the fans had managed to climb onstage. If she’d let it at that, fine, but she had tried to jump him and in the process had pulled his hair. He was so pissed he’d left. He couldn’t handle the crazy one. He just couldn’t. It sucked that the rest of the fans had to suffer for people like her, but what else could he do? Let her attack him? Then everyone would think it was okay. The sound of the lock echoed in the still empty apartment. His heart skipped. Only two other persons had the keys to his place. Could it be? He opened his eyes a sliver. His mouth dried at the sight of the tall man standing on the doorway kicking off his shoes.
His voice came out hoarse, as if he’d been screaming his bandmate’s name all day. He cleared his throat and went back to reclining on the plush seat. He couldn’t let him see how his presence affected him.
The task was becoming harder every day. Mac’s voice had a sensual lilt to it when he spoke that caused the hairs on his arms to stand every time. Dylan swallowed and folded his hands over his belly. Nonchalance. He had to pretend he didn’t care.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see how you were doing. You left kind of quickly.”
Dylan shrugged. “Yeah, well, you know, the incident with the girl it kind of has me nervous.”
The couch dipped as Mac sat at his side. Was he always radiating such body heat? Or was that him? Dylan resisted the urge to wipe his brow.
“Yeah, I know.”
Dylan swallowed, the sound loud and clear in the silence that followed. He was going to throw up out of sheer nerves. Fuck, what was wrong with him? He’d known Mac all his life- they’d basically formed the band together. However, of late, he’d go into this catatonic phase every time his friend was near. He passed a hand across his face, taking the chance to peek at Mac. His eyes opened wide.
“What are you looking at?”
“What’s wrong, Dyl?”
“What’s wrong, Dyl?”
“What do you mean?”
“I have the impression you’ve been avoiding me since—“
“Don’t say it!”
Mac’s eyebrows shot up to his dark hairline. “Since you found me having sex with that groupie.”
“Fuck, Mac.” Dylan let his head drop back with a grunt. “I told you not to say it,” he mumbled. The scene he’d witnessed that night danced before his close eyelids. Mac’s lean body slick with sweat as he pumped into another guy. He’d never, God, he’d never thought--
“Why Dyl? It’s not as if you haven’t had sex with—“
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“You fucking tell me, Dylan or I’m leaving for good.”
“What?” Out of reflex he grasped Mac’s wrist. “You can’t leave.”
“I can and I will if you don’t tell me what’s going on.” Mac’s green eyes watered. “I can’t stand the tension between us anymore, Dyl.”
“You know what I’m talking ‘bout.” Mac punched him on the shoulder and got up.
Paralyzed he watched his friend walk to the door.
“No, wait, I—“ Dyl swallowed. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
Mac stood with his back to him, his hand on the door’s pommel.
“What do you mean?”
“I keep seeing you wrapped around that guy and—“
Dylan’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t admit what he’d been imagining for a very long time- even before the incident-.
“I keep wishing it had been me,” he screamed. “I keep seeing you, us, wrapped together.”
“You fucking know it’s more than that.”
“It doesn’t sound like it. You write lyrics for a living, Dylan. I beg you, tell me what’s in your heart.”
Mac spun around. Dylan stumbled to his feet. He’d only seen that vulnerability in his friend’s gaze once, a long time ago, when they’d been children and—
“When we were children you once told me you were in love with someone.”
Mac nodded. His gaze dropping to the floor.
“All this time.”
“You really aren’t very good at riddles, Dyl.”
Dylan forced his feet to move until he stood face to face with Mac. He searched the other man’s gaze. The familiar warmth he felt in his presence returned full throttle. His palms started to sweat and his lips dried.
“But you said, you said that the boy you liked had blonde hair and he was taller than you and, he couldn’t sing to save his life.”
The corner of Mac’s lips lifted and his eyes danced with amusement. “Your original hair color Mr. Rock n’ roll dive, if you don’t remember was dirty blonde. You were taller than me back then and I still think you can’t sing, even if hordes of fans think the opposite.”
Dylan shuffled his feet. Mac was in love with him? Had been since forever.
“Mac, I’m speechless.”
To be continued
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