Since it's the only story I'm working on at the moment - at it's a tortously slow process- I'm still posting snippets of Clare's story.
Let's recap: Clare (aka Luna), has met a mysterious, yet hunky, alien who's come to take her back to his home. She believes he's Mikelo, the alien boy she'd met twenty years ago... but he's presented himself as Serrik. In shock, Clare doesn't know how to react. Serrik taunts her and asks her why she is not screaming. In the previous snippet he tells her that her destiny is tied with his people. Clare denies it and he threatens her. Serrik will do whatever it takes to get Clare back to his world and to Mikelo.
In this snippet, I've skipped a few lines where Clare asks Serrik to stop watching her and he says he can't because he gave his word that he would take her back to Mikelo and otherwise she'd run. Clare says she gave him his word but Serrik disagrees and explains that words and promises have a much deeper meaning...
Finally, you can read the older snippets here:
I hope you're all having a great weekend!
XOXO,
Elyzabeth
Elyzabeth
ps: Creative editing has taken place to fulfill guidelines!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
From the short distance that separated them, she observed him.
He could almost see the way her mind worked, connecting the dots. He was marked, almost every inch
of his skin visible to her was inked in some way. Promises. Oaths. He was a man
of his word.
"That is ridiculous, those
are nothing but tattoos, they only have the meaning you give them.”
Serrik ground his teeth together. He had met an enemy like her
once that had mocked his marks, his symbols, his oaths, and said they were nothing
more than drawings on a human canvas. He did not live to finish his ill
thoughts.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
So, what do you think?
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again, great snippet!
ReplyDeleteI love your visuals. Great snippet
ReplyDeleteOh my, goosebumps. Loved it, Elyzabeth :-)
ReplyDeleteElyzabeth, love the tension in this snippet. However, as a moderator, I've got to ask you to keep to the eight sentences. Despite your creative punctuation, you are still over limit. Even without the one word sentences, you are over... Our number of posts is growing, and we'd like to make sure everyone has time in their Sunday to visit all the blogs they'd like to. If the posts start sneaking longer and the list keeps growing it may make it a time consuming effort to participate in, and we hope to keep it light and lively. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elyzabeth for such a quick fix! Same words, just punctuation that keeps within limits : )
DeleteGreat visuals and tension from the first word until the last. Great job with this snippet, as usual, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteHe won't live. . .I'm confused and concerned. Terrific story.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I'm sure she'll live. She didn't sound like she was mocking, more questioning. At any rate, I'm enjoying the story and can't wait for more!
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet...
ReplyDeleteI'm so enjoying this, Elyzabeth. I love the character development. And I wonder if she will get delivered as promised! Good 8!
ReplyDeleteIntense. Love a tatooed alien.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this. The sense of threat from that last sentence is super.
ReplyDelete