Very sensual and romantic!
Thanks C.J.! :)
I think you should know firstly that I'm a fan of your work, and I think you're a wonderful writer, but this piece (and actually, a lot of your others) need some work.In every one of your short stories that I've read, things move too fast. I know it is only a short story, but I think you need to learn how to build more tension in your writing. Especially when you're writing erotica, there needs to be more sexual tension built.When it does get to the sex, it's just rushed. I'm always like "oh yay, yum... oh, it's over?", I just think you could definitely draw out the sex scenes and add a little more zing to it. Like she was just inside, and he instantly pulled her into his room. I don't think anybody can move that fast, fictional or real.Still, a great piece, but I think it could use a little work.Sincerely, an anonymous writer trying to help.
Hi Anonymous!Thank you for your comment. Putting tension into 1000 words is hard, but I'm still learning, as they say, and I'm happy that you've pointed out to me what you think needs improving in my work. I'll definitely keep it in mind in future stories. Hope you keep reading my work and enjoying it.:)
I adore comments! Don't be shy and tell me your thoughts.